President Trump has plans to move up Independence Day so it can be the #1 Day in July!

“My whole life has been about being the best, number one, the best.  Not the fourth,” the president said.  “The fourth is for losers.  America’s birthday shouldn’t be number two.”

A Red, White and Blue color guard
Image via Duffleblog

– News from elsewhere covered by Quincy Quarry News sans any further commentary.

President Trump has plans to move up Independence Day so it can be the #1 Day in July!

At least so reports Quincy Quarry’s snarky media brethren at Duffleblog.

“My whole life has been about being the best, number one, the best.  Not the fourth,” the president said.

U.S. M-1A tank on display
Image via armyrecognition.com

“The fourth is for losers. America’s birthday shouldn’t be number two, let alone four.”

“Numero uno, as the Mexicans say, but this is America, so we say one,” continued the President.  “But even the fourth, we’re still better than the Mexicans, because their birthday,  Cinco de Mayo, is number five.”

“See,” he said, making air quotes around “Cinco.”

He continued, “I tell my very good friend, President Andrés Manuel López Obrador, ‘Mexico is number five, cinco,’ and we laugh.”

White House PR flack Kellyanne Conway
An Alex Wong/Getty Images photo

“He laughs, but he knows it’s true.”

When reporters informed the president that July 1 was Canada Day, the president promised to raise tariffs on Canadian imports of something or other and then quickly hustled away from the podium, yelling “Kellyanne!”

Source: President Moves Up Independence Day so it can be the #1 Day in July

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