– News from elsewhere covered by Quincy Quarry News

MBTA automated excuse generating software algorithm unveiled.

As perhaps originally broken by Quincy Quarry’s news media peers at WBZ News, an automated MBTA excuses generator has been developed.

Unfortunately, given the crush of publishing deadlines as well as the MBTA’s penchant for secrecy, Quincy Quarry was not able to confirm whether or not the MBTA has hired additional media spokesmodels given the automated excuse generator’s ability to help the T to spin out even more excuses. 


Runaway train excuses
An mbtaexcuses.com excuse

Quincy Quarry’s Tech Desk was, however, able to review the MBTA excuse generator and so determine that it is basically a variation on MIT’s much beloved around the Quarry newsroom Shakespearean Insult Kit.

Worms on a trainAn

Worms on a train
An mbtaexcuses.com excuse

Unfortunately, the link to the MIT’s fully automated insult kit is broken. 

Fortunately, a manual listing of the mix and match phrases used to generate insults is available here.

MBTA's excuse for Quincy CenterAn mbtaexcuses.com excuse

The MBTA’s excuse for Quincy Center
An mbtaexcuses.com excuse

Also fortunate, one of Quincy Quarry’s growing legions of loyal readers offers up the following as regards the myriad of long ongoing problems at the Quincy Center MBTA station:

“A group of disgruntled Quincy residents, disguised as nuns, has lured an MBTA employee out of hiding at Quincy Center station and is holding him against his will until he actually answers commuters’ questions.  Expect interminable delays on the Red Line.”

Someone has 'splaining to doA Quincy Quarry News file photo

Excuses, excuses …
A Quincy Quarry News exclusive file photo

And yes, one can only properly assume that in due course that a KochExcuses.com website will be launched. 

After all, there are a lot of Q-ups in the Q for which excuses can be shoveled.

As such, Quincy Quarry’s growing legions of loyal readers are encouraged to submit their excuse suggestions to the Quarry via its email address.

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