Undocumented aliens undermine Quincy Presidents football opener?

– News about Quincy from Quincy Quarry News  

Undocumented aliens “goose greasing” the practice field
A Quincy Quarry News exclusive sports photo

Undocumented aliens undermined Quincy Presidents’ football opener?

In the wake of Quincy High School blown out season opening game loss to Braintree by the score of only 7 points scored by Quincy to the 54 scored by Braintree’s, Quincy Quarry News cannot help but wonder if this sickening loss might have at least partially been the result of sick players.

After all, as documented by exclusive Quincy Quarry photos, the Quarry found the Presidents’ practice field littered by undocumented snowbirds likely from north of the border.

Not only does “goose grease” grease up the turf, one must also remember that this is not the first time the Quincy High campus has been goosed.

Goose Grease galore on Quincy High front lawn
A Quincy Quarry News file photo

Even more importantly, it must also be noted that “goose grease” can harbor the microscopic parasites Giardia and Cryptosporidium.

Giardia causes an intestinal illness called Giardiasis – also know as “Beaver Fever” – and Cryptosporidium is responsible for a similar illness.

Quincy Quarry considered reaching out to those tied to the team for comment about the possibility of the team suffering from an alien parasite attack.

However, the Quincy Quarry sports desk figured that it would be impossible to determine if the team was just sick over the score or if the loss might have at least partially have been caused by parasites disseminated by suspected aliens absent clinical lab testing.

Regardless, expect Quincy Quarry to follow the Presidents football team to see what is going down with the team this season.

In the meanwhile, there is some good news: the game was not a league game.

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