NORAD will be tracking Satan for the holidays after a typo on an internal operations order diverted its beloved Santa-tracking program to describing the location of Lucifer, the Prince of Evil, this Christmas.
– News covered by Quincy Quarry News.
NORAD Tracking Satan over Christmas Holidays due to a typo.
The North American Aerospace Defense Command (“NORAD“) will be tracking Satan for the holidays this year instead of Santa as it has done for many decades after a typo on an internal operations order diverted its beloved Santa-tracking program to instead track the location of Lucifer, the Prince of Evil, reports Quincy Quarry’s also snarky media brethren at Duffle Blog
“It’s the same letters, just out of order,” said Air Force Lieutenant. Colonel Kris Krangle, commanding officer of the newly renamed Holiday Tracking Program. “But honestly, I think the American Public would also like to know where Satan is, given the option.”
Do not expect a lot of movement though, opined Lieutenant Colonel Krangle.
Fortunately for taxpayers, this latest Pentagon mistake probably will not be prove to be an an expensive one.
Off the record, NORAD officials confided that the Pentagon has been long tracking Satan for decades through interviews via a network of demon informers
At the same time, however, Major Reverend Rudolph Reinman, NORAD’s chaplain, viewed this unofficial disclosure as “… disappointing news. The operations center had the ability to track Satan this whole time, but hasn’t been sharing it with the chaplain’s office. I could have just been telling our Airmen where to go to avoid Satan.”
The NORAD Satan Tracking Website goes live first thing on the day of Christmas Eve at the International Date Line and will continue to issue satanic reports until the end of Christmas Day as of midnight Hawaiian/Aleutian Standard Time, the last time zone before the International Date Line.