– News from elsewhere covered by Quincy Quarry News.
White House National Security Advisor John Bolton wakes from terrifying nightmare of world at peace.
After lurching awake in a sweating as well as panicky daze, the latest new White House National Security Advisor John Bolton was reportedly relieved that the image of a harmonious world at peace was only a terrifying nightmare, sources confirmed today.
“I just saw people living without the anxiety of total war and Kim Jong Un being a decent human being,” said Bolton.
“It was *ucking petrifying,” said Bolton.
So terrifying, unconfirmed reports indicate that he had frantically checked his smartphone all but immediately upon awaking so as to make sure every news source was still concerned with his neoconservative foreign-policy ideas and pushes for military interventions in Iraq, Syria, Iran, North Korea, Mexico, Venezuela, Aruba as well as all manner of other countries.
“I was so worried that I’d be out of a job and have to just play endless games of Command & Conquer on my laptop,” Bolton later told reporters.