Quincy adopt a hydrant program abandoned and now kidnapped?

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– News about Quincy MA from Quincy Quarry News
Quincy adopt a fire hydrant program appears to have not only have been abandoned, but now Quincy residents appear to be facing yet another as well as potentially even more dire new threat to their safety.
With the snow pack finally starting to abate in advance of the hoped for July Thaw, it would appear that at least scores of fire hydrants are missing around the Q.

Given last fall’s disastrous, wicked expensive as well as completely avoidable fire at old City Hall, one would think that that city officials might be more attuned to fire safety, but apparently not really at the end of the day.
Quincy Quarry did not bother to reach out to City officials as it knew that none would respond to the Quarry.
Rumor also has it that the Koch Maladministration imposed a gag order upon all city employees in the wake of Department of Public Works Commissar Dan “Spanky” Raymondi’s disastrous as well as disastrously embarrassing interview by a local network television station news reporter over the City’s hopelessly Q-ed up and wicked late temporary one-way street traffic plan.
Now if only the Mayor would cease his increasingly but comedic as well as incessant broadcasts on Koch Media, née Quincy (Public) Access Television.

So what also apparently for a cocksure Mayor Kockalorum proclaiming during a National Public Radio interview four years ago that he had initiated an effective as cost-effective plan to address snow clearing efforts by the City of Quincy.
In any event, theories abound as to why so many hydrants are missing.
As always, there is an alien abduction conspiracy theory.
As ludicrous as alien abduction theories tend to be, such could explain why all but one of the missing hydrants have not been seen or heard of since their disappearances as well as that no ransom demands have been (officially, ed.) announced.

Another theory is that some locals may have utterly misunderstood the adopt a hydrant program and then took them in from the snow and into their warm homes.
This second theory could explain why a baby hydrant was found abandoned outside the location of the primary commercial sponsor of the adopt a hydrant program.
After all, cute little baby hydrants both leak on the carpet as well as eventually grow up into rusty and thus no longer cute big hydrants.
Alternatively, perhaps snowbound and thus Snow Daze Stress Disorder-afflicted locals may have opted to ill-advisedly take fire safety into their own hands and so taken hydrants home with them.
More likely, however, the many missing hydrants are largely best explained as the result of the Koch Maladministration extensive use of not only outside but also out of state companies and workers with little to no familiarity of Quincy to do much of the plowing and clearing of snow in the Q.

After all, all one has to do is travel just about anywhere along the select streets of the favored as well as risk one’s personal safety travelling the rest of the goat paths masquerading as streets in the Q to see the innumerable instances of damage done by those less than carefully plowing and clearing snow on the increasingly mean streets of the Q.

Regardless of the actual cause or causes of so many missing hydrants around town, courtesy of Quincy Quarry’s many sources in places both high but mostly low, the Quarry has gathered word that Department of Public Works Commissar Dan “Spanky” Raymondi has yet to lay out any plans to see the missing hydrants replaced.
In fact, “Spanky” has apparently as well as conversely ended any overtime work assignments within his department – except, that is, for the apparent and all but unilateral grifting of overtime time to a certain department nipster extraordinaire and his select band of enablers to focus on potholes around town  in apparent violation of the fair equal opportunity to work and so earn overtime pay clause of the Laborers Local 1139 union contract.

Then again, when has the Koch Maladministration ever meet a labor law requirement it didn’t end up violating?
Regardless of the Koch Maladministration’s apparent flagrant disregard for public safety, the rule of law as well as most Quincy residents, Quincy Quarry readers can expect the Quarry to sniff out what’s up with Quincy’s missing fire hydrants even more carefully than do Quincy’s long suffering canines sniff hydrants in the wake of a winter that is only just starting to finally show signs of  abating.
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