– News about Quincy MA from Quincy Quarry News

Time to fix the roof?
A Quincy Quarry News photo

At the north end of Quincy near its border with Dot is where one will find Cathay Pacific, the local faux Polynesian MSG Mansion, better known as Café Pathetic.

Talk about a trip down memory lane.

For example, for that special extra touch while waiting to be seated, Pathetic’s traditional American-style Tiki Bar cocktail choices are typically served in large ornate porcelain bowls with all but assuredly not PROC-approved glaze that is also surely not monitored by the FDA.  Plus, too many of these cocktails will result in one worshiping at a porcelain god!!

Scorpions sting!
aprilwallace.com image

These bowls of fun are filled with generous amounts of unnamed brands of spirits carefully blended with probably not approved in Europe food coloring along with various tropical fruit-like juice concoctions.  Pathetic’s drinks overflow with chemicals that could possibly make even Monsanto look like Mother Nature’s little helper – better living thru chemistry!

And as for widescreen TV’s, Café Pathetic idea of a widescreen is an old school 27 inch cathode ray tube TV.

But let’s move onto the food offerings as – after all – this is a food review.

If you loved FRIED foods- the Pu Pu platter will be your trip to fat heaven well as surely liposuction surgery because the kitchen has apparently partnered up with the owners of the Oriental Nicety, formerly known as the Exxon Valdez, given that EVERYTHING is covered, if not smothered, with oil.

The oil tanker Oriental Nicety
An old AP photo

Fried items feature extra thick batter for extra oil absorption. 

As oil is expensive, Pathetic diners are sure to get their money’s worth.

Even so, perhaps someone should call in Sully at the DPW for a hazmat cleanup!

Regardless, there good things to be enjoyed at the Pathetic.

For example, golden dragons and snakes adorn the walls and the scent of Sterno ® is no more. 

Carrots
A GoFor2and5.com.au image

Now formerly Sterno-fueled chafing dishes now sport carrots that appear to be carved to look like a flame.

Back to the food: if you forgot your glasses and thus cannot make out how many fried shrimp come with the Pu Pu platter, not to worry – EVERYTHING on the platter tastes like shrimp.

Not just the shrimp, but also the egg rolls, chicken fingers as well the wings.  Just close your eyes and pretend!

That and be sure to douse everything with duck sauce and hot mustard.

Conversely, it is only balanced and fair to note that the vegetable soup in hot broth is actually quite good as well as satisfying.

Beef and mushroom, egg foo young and the vegetable with shrimp stir fry are also nicely done as well as that both are the best and safest menu offerings to order.

Café Pathetic also continues to offer mile-high stacked bread plates of Wonder Bread and so bringing me back to days of the 1970’s usual at Metro Boston area Chinese restaurants.

At the same time, given multiple bankruptcies by Wonder Bread’s parent company, one can only wonder where it found the bread available for sale.

Impersonator, but not appearing in the Q
A knighttakesrook.blogspot.com image

Speaking of the 70’s, if seeking some late night entertainment and amusement from that era, Café Pathetic is quite the scene!  Catch creature feature double features featuring wannabe bands as well as Elvis and Tom Jones impersonators who couldn’t make at a Rhode Island slot parlor, much less the Vegas strip, are the headliners at Café Pathetic.

Even better is the crowd watching.  After 10 PM, expect to see alien sightings and not of the ICE kind.  Also not to be missed are the fashionistas from Walmart bopping & dropping on the dance floor as well as pants and panties dropping in both quiet corners and the parking lot.

Surely, somewhere in West Virginia is a missing busload of hillbilly folk whose tour bus broke down in the Q.

Call the fashion police, the dance police and call back the mother ship – the Pathetic’s floor show is where anything goes, including more than the occasional freak show.

Batman and Robin do Karaoke
A Pinterest image

Also expect by far the worst Karaoke in Quincy in spite of stiff competition.

Still, the Pathetic nightlife has its pluses, so to speak.

Up for way too many Polynesian cocktails?

Cathay Pacific is the perfect place to bag a quick date and all but guaranteed doggy bag if you know what I mean.

A word while one is still sober, however: consider staging any – if not all – trysts in the parking lot and so (perhaps, ed.) avoid having to gnaw off an arm when semi-sobriety returns.

Oh, and one last tip: this is the sort of place where one should always be sure to bring along TP as it tends to runs out of TP around 9 or so on Friday and Saturday nights.

QQ disclaimer

Food critic and knife thrower extraordinaire

A Quincy Quarry culinary review by Julie Child.

Julie descends from gourmet culinary blood lines of Mediterranean extraction and was raised on a family farm and weaned in the kitchen under the thumbs of well-traveled and event more skilled cooks.  Ms. Child is a chef, author, farmer, restaurant reviewer, oenophile, animal lover and knife thrower extraordinaire.

In short, Julie knows what’s cooking – or not – in the kitchens of restaurants and is not shy about sharing what she discovers.